In a world of ever-increasing speed … what if you gave yourself a gift. This is a gift that is impossible not to share. Beyond any form of social media … nothing beats a face-to-face meaningful conversation.
The 2nd Annual Twelve Days of Gratitude (Dec 1st- 12th) is underway. Last year I introduced the 12-Days of Gratitude in my Front Porch Newsletter and again made the challenge in the recent November issue.
The concept is to write a note of gratitude to 12 different people who have made an impact in your life. One note each day for 12 consecutive days … from December 1st through 12th. If the intended recipient is still alive, mail it to them. If not, simply tuck it in a treasured file.
Last December, numerous people took-up this challenge. Some managed to write all 12 days … others did whatever they could. All of them would tell you it transformed their awareness of gratitude. It will take you about 10-minutes a day, yet the return on investment just might change your life!
Numerous people from across the nation have emailed me letting me know they are taking up this year’s challenge. And it is not too late for you to do the same … we are now on DAY-3 but it will only take a few minutes for you to do three notes today to catch-up … and then just one a day for the rest of the journey. If you do … I have a feeling, beginning on Sunday, December 13th, it will likely transform how you experience the 12-days of Christmas!
Grab a stack of notes cards and a pen … and let your celebration of gratitude begin!
Today’s post is the featured article from the November 2009 issue of The Front Porch Newsletter. If you would like to automatically receive The Front Porch e-newsletter on the last Thursday of each month just click here to sign-up for your complimentary subscription.
Happy Thanksgiving! Today is my favorite Holiday of the year. On the surface, I have some shallow reasons. For instance, it is the kick-off of the Holiday Season … not like the finale on New Year’s Day. Unless you are in retail, this Holiday sits on the front-end of a nice long weekend … unlike a Monday 4th of July where it is fireworks and then back to work. And, unless you are the cook, it is a low-maintenance holiday with minimal expectations. You simply get to sit around, eat then eat some more … and enjoy those whom you are with. Thanksgiving demands little from you. Which, on the surface, is why it has always been my favorite holiday of the year. But beneath the surface, the real reason I love Thanksgiving is because of the one thing it does ask of you:
To stop … and be grateful.
I am grateful for gratitude. Think about it. It has the power to change everything … and I mean everything! It can change your perspective. It can recharge your energy. It can enrich most any relationship. It is not surprising that gratitude is a slight variation from the word attitude.
Simply put … gratitude is an attitude.
I’m not talking about a shallow surface-level “thank you.” I am talking about a deep meaningful value that drives you to see the world around you in a very different way. To see all that is right … and that is good. And even in a time of challenge or tragedy … to see the good that comes from it.
It is so easy to fall into the trap of seeing what’s wrong instead of what’s right. It happens in families, it happens in companies, it happens in churches and it happens in countries. The media thrives on what is wrong. Many consultants make a living by it.
There is nothing wrong with having a keen awareness in seeing what is wrong. Gratitude is not about a “blind-eye” to what is wrong. But it does have everything to do in how we show-up and respond to what is wrong. An attitude, grounded in a deep sense of gratitude, keeps our motives pure. It keeps our vision clear.
I don’t know if I can ever remember seeing an organization list “gratitude” as a stated value.
Imagine what it would look like if one did:
GRATITUDE … We are grateful for those who have come before us to make this even possible. We are grateful for our clients who are the reason we exist. We are grateful for each other as we support one another and mutually develop each other through what we do and who we are.
Something tells me this value of GRATITUDE would genuinely impact customer service. Think of how you feel when you are the customer and you sense a business genuinely appreciates your business. Not a just a cliché thank you … but rather when they really mean it. And without their own deep value of gratitude it is hard for them to really mean it.
Something also tells me this value of GRATITUDE would impact retention of your best people. Employees appreciate being appreciated … and so do leaders. Gratitude is at the heart of any community and it changes how a community, personal or professional, relates to one another.
The opposite of “gratitude” is “taken for granted.” Taken to an extreme “taken for granted” leads to “entitlement” … which ultimately leads to destruction.
Which is why I am grateful for gratitude. It is a value that builds value.
And beneath all my surface level reasons … it is why I love this Holiday.
Happy Thanksgiving. I hope it is a day filled with many wonderful things for you … but mostly that it is a day that reminds you how life can be richer when each day of your life is filled with a genuine sense of gratitude.
It has been quite a year. Maybe it’s time to do something … a little crazy! It might be just what you need in the midst of all the craziness.
Today’s post is the featured article from the October 2009 issue of The Front Porch Newsletter. If you would like to automatically receive The Front Porch e-newsletter on the last Thursday of each month just click here to sign-up for your complimentary subscription.
I clearly remember my 8th grade teacher. Sister Elizabeth was a wonderful teacher. There were a lot of things I liked about her. But one thing I did not. Anytime anyone raised their hand to ask a question, she would frown a bit and always ask, “What’s the matter?” And I would always say to myself, “nothing’s the matter … I just have a question.”
In a world producing a universe of options, there is a lot of matter. On the back cover of my book, GOOD to the CORE, we wanted to showcase one quote that captured the essence of the book’s message. Johann Von Goethe’s quote nailed it:
“Things that matter most should never be at the mercy of things that matter least.”
The first question becomes, “so … what’s the matter?” We, first, need to see it to be able to sort it … to prioritize it. As I talk with professionals from coast to coast, I hear an increasing number of people who say they are drowning in “the matter.” For a decade, for many, email has created a reactive pattern of work. Some have managed to lasso their flood of electronic matter by thoughtfully processing what matters without falling prey to the distraction of what doesn’t. Most would tell you that is their goal … not their reality.
Social media is filled with chatter matter. Often times, two-way conversations are posted for all to read … as if it mattered to anyone else. I’ll leave social media etiquette to someone who understands it better than me. All I can suggest is there is a lot in social media that matters least. And you can’t control that.
What you can do is consistently ask the question … what’s the matter? You might say … wouldn’t a better question be … what matters? Yes, but not yet. You have to first focus on your matter before you can know what really matters. Maybe it is only me, but my take is there are others, too, who get numbly caught in just doing with little regard for intentionally focusing on all the matter. We find ourselves just doing social media, just doing social events, just doing relationships, just doing chores. Just doing! Have you ever intentionally gone to Facebook with a very short specific objective in mind and thirty minutes later found yourself floating from profile to profile … caught in endless matter?
One thing that is the matter … there is clearly more matter today. More to pile onto our plate. And we just keep piling it on.
I have recently been reading the initial manuscript for my good friend and long-time business coach, Mark LeBlanc. In his new upcoming new book, Never Be The Same, Mark shares this simple story of his father’s powerful insight:
It was pretty much the typical holiday for us. We gathered with friends and family. We ate and ate and drank. We watched football, played games and fell asleep off and on. Eventually, my dad and I were the last ones in the living room, and we got to talking. Dad had been thinking.
“You know what I noticed tonight, Mark? I watched everyone at the table. We always put too much food on our plate, and we always take servings of things we don’t really want. Instead of doubling-up on the things we really want, everybody takes a dab of this, a little bit of everything. Just to be polite, I suppose. That is nice for Grandma, your mom and Aunt Jane or Georgia, but it doesn’t make sense,” he said, staring at the ceiling from his Lazy Boy. He pushed the handle on the side of the chair to sit upright and looked over at me. Thank goodness my eyes were open. “Think about it. Why do we do that? We put too much on our plates, and never get enough of what we really want.”
With Thanksgiving and the Holidays approaching, it is timely practical advice. In a world that is in slow motion compared to where we are headed, it is priceless wisdom.
How carefully are you choosing what you put on your plate? There is a lot of matter to choose from.
I remember frequently sitting in Sister Elizabeth’s class, just trying to think of a question to ask … simply to see if I could get her to ask her predictable question … “what’s the matter?” Almost without fail, she would ask it … and I’m sure I responded with a faint smirk and some pretty stupid question. Today, I think I would simply respond to her … “good question!”
Once the matter is defined, what matters most and what matters least becomes a bit more clear … if you know what you value!
When you make it a mission to know what matters most … you are far more likely to make today matter!
What have you been truly “wondering” about lately? I’m just curious … and I would love to hear about it. Maybe this would be a great day to drive somewhere … turning off your cell phone and your radio and turning on your mind to just wander and wonder!
Today’s post is the featured article from the September 2009 issue of The Front Porch Newsletter. If you would like to automatically receive The Front Porch e-newsletter on the last Thursday of each month just click here to sign-up for your complimentary subscription.
They weren’t my typical audience. It wasn’t my typical setting for a presentation either. Nor were my khaki shorts or red golf shirt my typical speaking attire. But it was certainly my privilege.
It was late Tuesday afternoon. It had been a fairly hectic day and I was catching-up on some emails when I opened the following message from the head coach of our local high school’s varsity football team:
This is Mike Stine from Naperville Central. I was wondering if you would like to speak to our varsity team this Thursday night. We do a motivational night with the team and your name came up as a person we should have talk to our team. This week is dad’s night so the dads will be with us.
Put me in front of corporate professionals, college students, or even an audience of professional speakers … I’m confident and good to go! A high school varsity football team … not so much!
But I immediately knew, in my gut, it would be a memorable experience.
As if it were meant to be, I was in town and wide-open for Thursday night. I waited until I knew Coach Stine would be finished with his afternoon football practice and dialed the cell phone number he had provided.
We connected and confirmed. Coach then began to give me the details. “Just meet us at the school. Immediately following our practice, we will board buses and go to our secret place. You can choose any topic you think appropriate. We sit around a fire and teach a life lesson. We do this every week of the season.” I would soon learn that not only does Mike Stine, his coaching staff and his varsity football team do this every week … but it’s a handed-down tradition his dad had done during his 30-year coaching career.
While Thursday night was open, the time in-between was packed. That is probably why my brain was working overtime when I woke-up at 3:00am on Thursday morning thinking about what to say. I wanted it not only to be meaningful to this outstanding group of players, but also for their dads.
Each player and dad could tell you if it was individually meaningful to them. But there is no question the message would prove to be “timely” for their experience on the gridiron the following night … literally.
My message was simple … every second counts.
In the macro picture of life, I wanted to make a case that time is a gift in our lives and we have to own how we use our time. In the micro picture in life, I also wanted them to see there are some events in our life where we only get one shot at it …. and especially in those cases … every second counts!
I used their Friday night game as the case in point. I noted they would take to the field for 2880 seconds … a set of seconds that would only exist one time. There would also be the seconds of warm-up, the seconds of time-outs and the seconds of halftime. In the end … every one of those seconds would count.
While it is fun to make the seconds count with the momentum of being in the lead … I also knew, from experience, that it was much harder to own every second when all odds seemed against you. For the pIayers, I tried to relate it to being behind in a game. For the dads, translating the analogy of the message to struggling in a devastating economy, was an easy crossover. It is those times, the seconds count more than ever.
It isn’t a matter of finding the time … it’s about finding something within you to make the seconds count.
Friday night rolled around and by halftime the cross-town rival had rolled to a 17-0 lead. It was brutal.
As I watched the team leave the field for halftime, I started recalling the conversation Coach Stine and I had on the prior night’s bus ride back to the school. He talked about the critical need for players to believe in themselves. And he shared with me the motto of this team’s t-shirts: Character equals strength: Are you strong enough?
I knew, as they took the field in the second half, their character and self-belief would be tested.
I also knew every second was going to count.
Throughout the second half … second-by-second … they demonstrated their character, confirmed their belief and rolled to a 21-17 come-from-behind victory.
As I cheered them on … I didn’t know if they had really even heard my message. But it was clear to me they certainly knew how to live it.
Tomorrow you will be given another set of 86,400 seconds. There is no need to count them … just the opportunity to make them count. It’s time to get your game on!
Make collaboration a practice. Who do you know who can help you practice collaboration … someone who sees the world from a different point of view from you, yet thinks the world of you!
Today’s post is the featured article from the August 2009 issue of The Front Porch Newsletter. If you would like to automatically receive The Front Porch e-newsletter on the last Thursday of each month just click here to sign-up for your complimentary subscription.
Or do they actually just get the opportunity to finish? In the dating circles of high school, it was conventional wisdom that “good guys finish last.” I never did quite figure out the awkward psychology of such a perspective, but I would suggest maybe the better perspective would be to consider that the good guys actually get the opportunity to finish. Let me explain!
In my new book, GOOD to the CORE, we “called-out” a thought which seems to have resonated with many readers:
Living your core values can cost you. Not living them can destroy you!
Destruction prevents completion. And we have seen evidence of it in every aspect of our life … business, politics and spiritual arenas. Almost every destruction can be tied to a breakdown in an individual’s or an organization’s core values … or the absence of intentional values. And none of us are immune from this possibility.
I would suggest we are becoming more vulnerable with each passing day. Partly because we live in a society where “the rules” are continually turning a lighter shade of grey. And partly because we are living at an exponentially increasing speed which blurs the landscape for even the most well-intentioned soul.
If good guys don’t finish, it is because they are systemically brought down by the shrapnel of the misguided actions of others. Not only are we vulnerable to our own temptations, but we are counting on those around us to have the backbone … the core … to withstand their own temptations.
Core values are intellectually easy to understand. But understanding the concept is only the beginning. Simply understanding the concept gets you nowhere. The “concept” of values becomes easy to abandon when the lure of “something” is calling … or the pressure of “results” is mounting. Think of the “concept” of values as being little more than being in a row boat in the middle of Lake Michigan … without a paddle. Or on a cruise ship in the Atlantic … without a motor. You might feel a façade of safety on a clear day, but come a storm … everything changes. Unspecified values offer little guidance. We need paddles and motors to navigate the tides of life … in the relationships of business, communities and families.
The real truth is most of us are adrift. And we have seen the results.
Simply put … there is nothing more strategic in a business plan than core values. They are not soft … and they certainly are not easy. But they are critical. You may have heard that “hope” is not a strategy. I embrace hope, but I would agree. Core values, on the other hand, are the backbone of any strategy … and without them, there is no hope.
I am hopeful in the renewed commitment I am seeing in leaders of substance taking their stand on core values. While decisions become easier … it is not a stand for weak leaders. Weak leaders hide behind short-term success, flavors-of-the-month and possibly even the opinion polls of followers who do the same.
The waves of the ocean are a powerful force. And so is temptation. The waves will lure you in. The waves of success. The waves of pleasure. The waves of a reframed truth for a short-term convenience. Waves will carry you … for a while. Subsequently, if they don’t crash upon you … at a minimum, they will let you down. Values simply won’t do that.
We all have to live with the reality that core values will cost you. They will demand from you. They will stretch you. They might make you feel vulnerable. They will sometimes isolate you.
But they will never let you down.
The tides of technology, speed and the systemic confusion of a globally connected community have the potential to leave every individual and every organization rudderless. What a pity it would be … especially when the paddle and the motor, all along, resided within us.
By definition, it would be impossible for a leader’s commitment to core values to be a flavor-of-the-month. Living from the core is a life-time sentence. Anything short of that, is just riding another wave. In the end … there is no finish line. And there in-lies the truth of why good guys finish last. They just never stop!
To be continued.
Avoidance ends with one small step … not one large leap. What are you avoiding? Take your first step!
