John TV: Episode #45 Interested

Networking … your success in it, interesting enough, depends on if you go to get … or go to give!

John TV: Episode #44 Assumptions

The next question you ask may open your eyes to an entirely new understanding.  What we assume sometimes prevents us from asking that all important next question.

John TV: Episode #42 THROUGH THEIR EYES

No better way to deepen what you understand about what you see … than by trying to see through another set of eyes!

John TV: Episode #41 THE SAME

 

Getting past the blame game … gets you beyond getting more of the same.

Bigger than Self

Today’s post is the featured article from the March 2011 issue of The Front Porch Newsletter. If you would like to automatically receive The Front Porch e-newsletter on the last Thursday of each month just click here to sign-up for your complimentary subscription.

There is no way to prepare for it. No pictures or descriptions do it justice. You simply have to experience it. That is what I told my son, Ryan, when we recently made our father/son trip out to Mesa, Arizona for Cubs Spring Training. I’m not talking about being a Cubs fan (although it may apply). I am talking about the one day we took a break from the ballpark and ventured up for Ryan’s first visit to the Grand Canyon. As we walked the newly constructed path, leading to our initial viewing point, I told him that when we got to the edge I would share with him why I loved the Grand Canyon for the exact same reason I loved the mountains and the ocean. Being a smart young man, or more likely in just knowing how my crazy mind works, he said “I think I already know …”

Because it’s so much bigger than you.

Exactly. He knew it. I was bummed I hadn’t waited to share my thought until we were toe tips to the edge … so we could feel it. Moments later we experienced it. It won’t let go of you. And there is a paradox tucked within the wonder of the insignificance it creates. While it nurtures the soul, it also screams one of the most subtle lessons of great leadership. It is the lesson of humility.

It is a lesson some leaders forget. For other leaders it is intentionally forgotten … seen as a weakness to be avoided at all cost. For many leaders, it is a trait simply dropped along the way while they were picking-up more responsibility and visibility.

For followers, it is a lifeline for connection.

Unchecked, the road to leadership can easily lead to a bigger image of self … rather than holding onto an image bigger than self. I would propose genuine humility is grounded in a deep sense of confidence. The lack of it is rooted in arrogance. The most practical definition I have heard of humility is “not thinking less of yourself … but rather thinking more of others.”

A few leaders strive “to arrive” and upon getting there build a wall of protection to guard their self-interests. They fight the temptation to succumb to their perceived “weakness” of humility. These leaders happen upon the C-level suites of organizations, but are just as likely to be found among department heads or group supervisors. It happens on community boards and among the pastor ranks of a church.

But, for most, the seductive rise above humility is not intentional. It is incremental.

Leaders who embrace a sense of humility and maintain it through their ascension, most likely have made it a priority. They have discovered their sense of success has transcended their own accomplishments and been replaced by the delight in helping others succeed.

While I am sure there are a number of strategic recipes for leaders desiring to cling-on to a genuine sense of humility … I would like to humbly suggest three!

First, always embrace and cherish a critical few people in your life who love you enough to tell you the truth … and you love them enough to accept the truth when you don’t want to hear what they are telling you. For years, I have maintained what I call my “life” board of directors. They have full authority to ground my hot-air balloon when it gets all puffed-up. It sure beats a crash landing.

Second, build-on your past … don’t just move-on. Last week, I had the privilege to speak with the faculty of Holy Rosary Grade School in Memphis. This wasn’t just any grade school. It was my own childhood grade school. It is one thing to remember your past. It is a whole different experience to literally walk the hallways of your past. Historical anchors, both places and relationships, have a way to nurture the virtue of humility. For most, the veneer wasn’t so polished back then. It was pretty transparent … well, at least until junior high! No wonder so few become prophets in their own hometown.

Third, if all else fails … take a trip to the slopes of the mountains or to the beaches of any ocean. Take an honest measurement. If your ego is bigger than the mountain or more vast than the ocean … know it is time to take a trip to the Grand Canyon!

John TV: Episode #39 Genuine

It takes a willingness to be vulnerable, to ultimately be genuine.  Dare to be genuine.  By definition … it is more valuable!

Revealing What is Real

Today’s post is the featured article from the February 2011 issue of The Front Porch Newsletter. If you would like to automatically receive The Front Porch e-newsletter on the last Thursday of each month just click here to sign-up for your complimentary subscription.

Do you remember the scene in the movie, The Wizard of Oz, when Oz is revealed? Even though already revealed, OZ isn’t ready to reveal himself. Toto, the smallest of all, had pulled back the curtain to reveal the real OZ. But OZ, realizing he has been revealed, looks out and quickly pulls the curtain shut again. “Ignore the man behind the curtain” he screams. But it doesn’t work. It is too late.

The miracle has already happened.

Revelation has already exposed what is real. It is in this moment of reality that genuine relationship begins. Dorothy, the Scarecrow, the Tin Man and the Lion each personally understood this. On their own journey, together, they too had been revealed to what was real within them. In doing so, it created their ability to be in meaningful relationship.

I am surprised, by now, that we have not run out of material. I mean with all the curtains we weave and pull shut. Millions and millions of dollars are spent on corporate teambuilding in order to bridge surface-level relationships. Millions more are spent on image consultants to polish our veneer, wash our drapes … or even replace our thread-bare curtains with a thicker material.

It may mask, but it doesn’t change what is real.

Material is made by spinning. And it is exactly what we see in leaders, politicians and corporate communication. We used to call it propaganda … now we see it as a really well-spun story. The problem is … it is not real. And we know it.

As with OZ, most of us are guilty of this at some level. I think there is a reason for this. It is called vulnerability. Or the lack of it! We typically desire strong leaders. On the surface, who wants a vulnerable leader? We typically want to be in relationship with strong people not vulnerable ones. Even OZ didn’t believe he would be believable if he didn’t appear to be strong. On the surface, by definition, vulnerability seems to be about weakness. Most dictionaries will tell you so. But paradoxically, what if the weakness was simply the drapes hiding real genuine strength? Biblically, we are reminded that it is in our weakness that we are strong.

We seem to have a hard time believing it. Especially at work.

The truth is … we are all vulnerable. And we all know it. Often times, we just don’t want to acknowledge it. So stories are spun that blind us to what is real. We begin to believe the spin about others, about companies, and even about ourselves. Spin comes with a price in building genuine teams, meaningful collaboration and valuable results. The solution starts with each and every one of us.

I was recently introduced to Brene’ Brown’s extensive research on vulnerability from two completely different sources … both within the same week. I pay attention when that happens. It may seem vulnerability comes with a price. Brene’s video (15 minutes, but so worth the watch) powerfully points out the price of invulnerability. You might say it pulls back the drapes.

Imagine a leader, so strong, they found no threat in being vulnerable. No threat in being real. Imagine the example it would set … and the difference it would make. Imagine getting a dysfunctional team together and creating an environment where it was safe to open the drapes and encourage an authentically vulnerable conversation to begin.

It would change everything. It’s in what is real … we begin to heal.

Something tells me, in quick order, corporate cultures would begin to change. More genuine relationships would impact productivity and retention of great employees. Customer service would be transformed beyond surface-level transactional niceties. It might start to feel like the kind of place you really want to be … like home. And we all know … there’s no place like home. There’s no place like home!

John TV: Episode #38 RISK

Is it time for a little RISKY BUSINESS?  Risk is neutral … core values often determine if a risk is good or bad.  Values drive you to take the right risk at the right time.  What risk should you be taking today?

John TV: Episode #37

cul·ture [kuhl-cher]  noun, verb, -tured, -tur·ing  …  The sum total of ways of living built up by a group of human beings and transmitted from one generation to another.   In what condition is your transmission?

John TV: Episode #34

 
 
Oh … promises, promises!  A great idea for the New Year just might be to promise yourself that you are going to be careful about what you are promising to do!  Then be sure you do it!